


Venus as a Boy

by mutedalterego



Series: Everyone has two countries, his or her own— and France [13]
Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutedalterego/pseuds/mutedalterego
Summary: Kurt being his irresistible self and Sebastian the green eyed monster shielding Kurt from prying eyes
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Everyone has two countries, his or her own— and France [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827283
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Venus as a Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the late update you guys! Busy with the hundreds of readings and stuffs and I accidently turned into a quarantine baker and with the holidays ugh those dessert boxes aren't going to bake themselves sadly. I will never abandon this series though as long as you guys are reading it xx I am currently finishing the Holiday part of this series and maybe in a week? No promises but I will try! 
> 
> Sorry for every typo or grammatical errors. I proofread it countless times but there's always that stray word or weird phrases that for some reason just keeps slipping through the cracks xx
> 
> Title comes from my favorite Bjork song called Venus as A Boy

Sebastian is pretty sure all the single gay men in Paris are in love with his boyfriend and he absolutely loves it because all they can do is look as he smack Kurt in the ass while glaring at them because Kurt is _his_ but he also hates it because Kurt is _his_ and they cannot look longingly at what is _his_. He gets it though. Kurt is dynamic and talented and gorgeous and beautiful beyond words; his smile is contagious and his tenacity and determination is admirable. That smile, again, its Sebastian’s drug of choice.

They can look because Kurt is his but when they start to make Kurt fluster with words and start making him blush ― Sebastian sees red because only he gets to do that.

Like right now.

Kurt can be pretty anal about his routine every-three-week haircuts ― a day or two of neglect like that time he didn’t make it to his hair appointment because of how busy he was on September during his first Paris Fashion Week — Sebastian had no choice but to invite Kurt’s insufferable Japanese French speaking heavily tattooed hairdresser with the most basic name of _Sean_ to his home because there is no way in the world Sebastian would let _Sean_ know where Kurt lives. Kurt told him so that this was Sebastian’s when _Sean_ complimented his home and the disappointed look Sebastian saw on _Sean’s_ face made him livid.

So now out of distrust to Sean and his love for Kurt, he had no choice but see the man once a month on the swanky barbershop where he works and almost a year in, _Sean_ still had the audacity to make his boyfriend laugh and the nerve on that guy is really making the green eyed monster inside of him seethe. Sean reminded him of Blaine ― a Blaine that is heavily tattooed, leather cuff wearing, and Japanese ― all annoying boyish shyness but not so subtle flirtations.

He watches in distaste Sean’s heart eyes aimed at a smiling Kurt while he shampoos Kurt’s hair before the haircut. Sebastian is seated with his legs crossed on the lounge by the window nearest to Kurt and he could hear that they’re talking about tattoos. Sebastian stopped himself from rolling his eyes ― torn between wanting to interrupt their chat and wanting for Kurt to add on his already five tattoos scattered hidden all over his body so Sebastian could worship a new one.

He smiled fondly to himself remembering their first morning after the first time he made love with Kurt and Sebastian almost lost it when in the verge of worshiping Kurt’s body around sunrise he stumbled upon a tattoo of a Chinese inscription of according to Kurt means ‘in the mood for love’ by his right hipbone and if he wasn’t so turned on about Kurt Hummel having not one but multiple tattoos for him to discover he would have leered and said something on the lines of ‘in the mood for love, alright’ that he knows would earn him a smack on the back of the head from Kurt.

His daydreaming was cut short by the sound of Kurt’s startled laugh and Sebastian turned to him with a smile ready to asked him what’s so funny before the smile slowly turned into a scowl as he noticed _Sean_ ― wearing a fucking harness over a thin white shirt in a snowy January morning ― examining something that Kurt was hiding from him, clutching the nape of his blue button down shirt close and Sebastian knows what the guy’s trying to see. It’s Kurt’s tattoo of his mother’s birthday and her death anniversary somewhere on his upper back by the back of Kurt’s neck and how dare _Sean_ seek it out. Sebastian was on the cusp of ripping the guy’s tonsils out when _Sean_ stopped berating his boyfriend who’s now wearing an annoyed look on his face and proceeded to at last start cutting Kurt’s hair.

Sebastian kept his eyes on Kurt and the barber the whole time. Not even daring to read through the draft of the revised Green Deal he was eager to read through just this morning. Little was said for the next thirty minutes but when Sean leaned in a little to whisper something to Kurt which made his boyfriend smile, Sebastian was again on edge ― deciding that enough was enough, he stood and walk towards where his boyfriend was seated. He was rewarded by Kurt smiling so big when he met Sebastian’s eyes on the mirror that Sebastian couldn’t help the smug smile he aimed at Sean who frowned before returning the smile with one of his polite half-smiles.

“Hey, you.” Kurt said, looking at him through the mirror. “Missed me?”

The good thing about Kurt is when he loves fully; the one he loves is the only one he sees. It’s why Sebastian never demanded for Kurt to change barber upon discovering that Sean was half in love with his boyfriend. He can see why someone would fall for Kurt ― he fell for him.

“Yes. So how about we wrap this party up real soon huh, _Sean_?” Sebastian couldn’t help but be saturnine a little and he was satisfied by the nod and the curt ‘yes, monsieur.’ from Sean who was looking bashful for once. He met Kurt’s eyes again which was narrowed with a look of total disapproval so Sebastian rolled his eyes before talking again. “So I overheard you guys talking about tattoos?”

“I was asking Sean about where I could get an intricate one seeing as ― you know.” Kurt gestured absently on _Sean’s_ heavily tattooed body.

“I wasn’t aware that you have any tattoo in the first place.” _Sean_ said shaking his head with a look of admiration geared towards Kurt.

“What are you planning to get?” Sebastian rolled his eyes at Sean before smirking as he watches his boyfriend on the mirror turn red. “Oh? Is it something about me?” he teased, running a possessive finger on the side of Kurt’s exposed neck.

“Yes. It’s about how I still find you an annoying, smirky, and snarky little meerkat after all these months together. Maybe that’s next ― a caricature of a smirking meerkat or a lemur.”

Sean chuckled loudly and Sebastian glared at him. It might lack the intensity of his usual death glares but the thought of something about him permanently inked on Kurt’s body is making his head dizzy with how turned on he is.

-

The second one that got on his nerves is the new intern at Jacquemus. His name is Spencer and he reminds him so much of his arrogant high school self that it’s really getting on his nerves ― it was actually Kurt that pointed that out to him when they had their first whispered altercation on Kurt’s office about that forward intern.

“How dare him look at you as if you were single? Blatantly flirting with you while I was standing next to you.”

“Huh?” Kurt asked from where he was sketching on his ‘doodle pad’ on a lunch break, glasses hanging on for dear life on the edge of his nose and Sebastian had to fight a smile because his boyfriend is adorable he’s just waiting for Kurt to scrunch his nose up to keep his glasses from slipping off.

“That new intern. I don’t like him. He looks at you like you’re something to eat.” Sebastian hid a smile as Kurt does just that.

“There are three new interns.” Kurt said absently, frowning at his artwork a little. “And asking if I wanted to go out for lunch with them isn’t flirting.”

“That blonde one with the buzz cut. What his name? Samuel? Spacey?”

Kurt snorted. “What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fire him?”

Sebastian perked up, almost feeling bad for the poor college kid before noticing the sarcastic smirk on his boyfriend’s face. “How long is he going to be here anyways?”

“A year ―” Sebastian groaned, making Kurt look up at him and chuckle as he adjusts his glasses. “I don’t know how they do it here but junior year is intern time when I was in college and it took a year.”

“I really don’t like him Kurt. He’s not even your intern. Summer is. So he is seeking you out. I mean I would know.”

Kurt preened a little at the subtle praise. “Summer is my assistant.”

“Same thing.”

“Spencer doesn’t get paid. I think.”

“Jesus, Kurt. I really don’t care about that.”

Kurt rolled his eyes before taking his glasses off and leaning on his chair a little and looking at his winded up boyfriend slouching on the chair in front of his desk wearing a face of cocky annoyance his teenage self used to wear that it’s making Kurt fight the smile threatening to break through his face. Green eyed monster Sebastian is one version of Sebastian that Kurt absolutely adores. It’s funny and it feeds his ego and a little part of his brain is cackling with triumph at making Sebastian feel what he felt on those times he was flirting with Blaine on high school. Kurt almost snorted at the thought.

“You’re adorable when you’re jealous you know that right?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Yes. You keep on telling me.”

Kurt grinned wickedly before standing up from his chair and walking around to where Sebastian was seated, Kurt smiled to himself when Sebastian immediately smirked, opening his arms and legs for Kurt to stand between them. “What do I have to do to make you feel better?” Kurt cooed when Sebastian buried his face on Kurt’s tummy with a frustrated groan.

“Stop being so damn irresistible.” came the muffled reply. “Or no. I think a blowjob could cheer me up.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, expecting nothing less from his perverted boyfriend. “Of course. How about this?” he smiled as Sebastian looks up and turned Kurt to pull him to sit on his lap. “I’ll sleepover since it’s a weekend anyway and we’ll have a really lazy sex filled day with lots of wine and talking. You can talk about that environmental case you’re cocounseling on and I’ll talk about ideas for the venue for the next fashion show because ― hello, it was my genius of a boyfriend who had this great idea about the last show so you know, maybe I could pick his brains for the next one.”

Sebastian chuckled, tightening his arms around Kurt’s waist and burying his face on the material of Kurt’s work jumpsuit. “That sounds perfect. I can’t wait.”

“And maybe I could give you a massage tonight.” Kurt chuckled at Sebastian’s happy groan. “So a massage, really plenty of wine, talking and sex coming right up.”

Sebastian had his eyes closed, relishing the feel of Kurt so warm and comforting against him before he leave for the Belleville again. It’s February. Almost a year marking the time he and Kurt met again and thinking about the time in his life before Kurt is making him feel squeamish and uneasy. Friday nights a year ago was a battle between wallowing in his apartment after leaving La Belleville to Danielle by nine and running on his treadmill until he almost faints in exhaustion or dragging himself out on the bars frequented by tourists near his apartment and taking home some willing foreigner and kicking him out right after.

Sebastian tightened his arms around Kurt. He understood now, in a way, the insistence of his grandmother in slowing down. Not only was it her ― at that time, dying wish for his only grandchild to settle down but she knew with just weeks of observing Kurt that he would be perfect for Sebastian. If that isn’t an omen from the spaghetti monsters up in the galaxy then he doesn’t know what is.

-

“Stop staring at my boss, Sebastian.” Quinn said through tight smiling lips. “Or try to be more subtle at your glaring.”

“Did Kurt really dated him?”

“He went out on _one_ date with him.” Quinn corrected, watching his boss walk around the stage with a ‘Black, Gay, Educator and Proud’ written on his shirt like a beacon and she only could smile because she was sure that she have the best boss ever.

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why did Kurt go on a date with him? Was it because of you?”

Quinn turned to Sebastian with a quirked eyebrow and her frown slowly forming into a smile as she saw the look of clear jealousy on Sebastian’s face. Kurt did warn her about this. Kurt finds it adorable and Quinn was questioning his sanity a little until now when she’s seeing firsthand the physical manifestations of what jealous Sebastian _looks_ like.

“It was not because of me.” Quinn said, pulling on Sebastian’s hand as they walk to a crepe food stall ran by the literature department. “Kurt came to fetch me on a school day for lunch and we ran into my boss and the next thing I know he had a date for breakfast the next day.”

“They went out for breakfast?” Sebastian asked disbelieving. Breakfast was his and Kurt’s thing. “That’s our thing.” Sebastian whispered accusingly.

“It was the only time Kurt was available before he went back to London that same day.”

“So your boss was really insistent then?” Sebastian watched as Quinn waved and smiled at the students acknowledging her, some of the boys were giving him the stink eye as they notice their intertwined hands. “So there was never a second date? Or even a phone call or texting?”

“Probably and nope.” Quinn said, gesturing at the menu asking Sebastian what he is having.

“Do you really have to put Nutella on every fruit?” Sebastian whispered as he smiled at Quinn’s colleague he met earlier helping the kids cut the fruits for the crepes.

“It’s a booth at a school Valentine’s fair, Sebastian; with over two thirds of them being kids.” Quinn said as she rolled her eyes. “I’m getting the hazelnut with the fraises.”

“Sure, me too.” Sebastian said distractedly. “So back to the topic ― why was there no texti —” Sebastian rolled his eyes as a group of four girls flocked around Quinn and Quinn, being the sweetest person Sebastian knows in his life so far, gushed over the girl’s outfits and asked them how school was so Sebastian took her place on the front of the line.

This is the first time Sebastian met an ex ― or someone Kurt went out with other than Blaine, and something about the surprised expression on the man’s face when Quinn introduced Sebastian as ‘ _remember my best friend Kurt? Sebastian is his boyfriend’_ made Sebastian very possessive of _his boyfriend_ Kurt.

“You’re thinking pretty loudly here.” Quinn chuckled as she smiled apologetically at the senior boy looking at Sebastian with his eyes narrowed; arms outstretched with two foiled packets of hot crepes for a good twenty seconds now. “ _Let me take that. Thank you, Marcu_ s.”

“ _Anytime, Miss Q_!” Marcus smiled eagerly, taking another look at Sebastian. “ _What’s up with your boyfriend, Miss Q? Is he okay_?”

“ _He is not my boyfriend just a very distracted friend. And I think he is okay. Thank you again for this Marcus. Let’s go beat the science club’s baguette sandwiches_.”

“ _Yes_!” Marcus smiled a little too big and Sebastian snorted before he could stop himself. “ _See you later, Miss Q_!”

Sebastian was smirking at Quinn as they sat on a bench near the tents of games. “So you’re popular with the bleacher smokers too?”

“Shut up.” Quinn chuckled. “You know? I used to be one in high school.”

“What? A student crushing on the English teacher? Didn’t we all?” Sebastian chuckled sarcastically.

“No. A bleacher smoker.”

Sebastian stared at Quinn incredulously, crepe aimed halfway to his mouth.

Quinn chuckled. “So what were you thinking about back there?”

“Your boss and Kurt.” Sebastian grumbled, biting the crepe almost halfway through. “I didn’t know Kurt was into older guys. Much older guys.”

“Kurt wasn’t into him and he’s forty-eight not sixty you’re making him sound like a ― oops.” Quinn pursed her lips with a grin as Sebastian turned to her so fast looking offended.

“Thanks a fucking lot, Quinn.”

“Oh come on.” Quinn laughed, watching as Sebastian picked on the foil wrapper of his unfinished crepe. “You know why I know Kurt is quiet taken with you?” she said after a beat.

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow in question, facing Quinn with a frown.

“He admitted one time, three months into dating you that every time you walk towards him or every time he sees you he hears the first fifteen seconds of Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time in his head ― like he’s in a really sappy romance movie.” Quinn chuckled. “It’s the most ridiculous albeit the sweetest thing he has ever said to date.” she smiled as Sebastian rolled his eyes with a confident smirk.

“Well what can I say? My mum always said how lovable I am.”

-

Kurt had this journalist New Zealander friend that Sebastian is not very fond of. As far as he knows they haven’t really met in person yet. On lazy Sunday afternoons when they lay together on Kurt’s bed to read side by side and Kurt laughs so suddenly while scrolling through his phone ― Sebastian knows there’s a new newsletter notification on his boyfriend’s email.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, trying to focus on the words on his book before his boyfriend distracted him with all his funny giggling and snorting.

He was almost back in the zone on the Luxembourg again when Kurt gasped so loudly he had to check if Kurt was okay.

“Uhm. Hello, Hummel? Yes. Hi.” Sebastian whispered patronizingly, as Kurt turned to him with a confused look on his face. “Can you keep it a tiny bit down?” Kurt grumbled but nodded with a huff.

“Well it’s not my fault you aren’t reading anything fun.” Kurt said haughtily with a smirk.

It was Sebastian turn to gasp and be offended because it’s Hemingway.

“Yeah? Well I could write better than that sarcastic article you are reading right now.”

“I know that.” Kurt said as he turns away from him and wriggled closer to the window.

Now how could Sebastian argue back when Kurt complimented him? So he got back to a bar in the Latin Quarter for another silent three minutes when Kurt guffawed, turning and burying his face on a pillow he was hugging to muffle the sound of his laughter.

“Okay. I’ll make coffee come find me when your other man isn’t making you laugh anymore.”

Sebastian frowned to himself as he walks out into the kitchen. He knows he’s being petty but he just can’t help himself. Kurt doesn’t laugh that much with him. Kurt makes him laugh that way because he is just so damn funny but he can’t make Kurt laugh like that.

Sebastian lost himself for a bit in his book and the sound of the hissing and dripping of the coffee machine that he jumped a little when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist tightly. He smirked to himself before laying his book on the countertop facedown and crossing his arms over his chest in a defiant stance as he felt Kurt hook his chin on his right shoulder.

He fought the urge to look over his right shoulder and almost sighed in relief when the machine stopped hissing. Kurt hadn’t let go of his arms around Sebastian’s waist so Sebastian groaned loudly before shuffling to the other corner of the kitchen with Kurt still clinging to him. Sebastian almost succumbed when Kurt giggled so he smiled a little, taking two cups before shuffling on his original station to make their coffees.

“How do you take your coffee?” Sebastian muttered after a minute of silence. Of course he knows how Kurt takes his coffee; he just wants to rile him up.

“Sebastian!” Kurt whined, burying his face on Sebastian’s back and Sebastian swore he feels Kurt smiling. The audacity. “You’re really not mad about me laughing right?”

“Hm.”

“You didn’t even know what I was laughing about!” Kurt grumbled with a stamp of one socked foot. It should be juvenile for a twenty-eight man but only made Sebastian fight the urge to smile that much harder.

“I know what you were laughing about. It’s that damn journalist and his satirical newsletters.”

“Uhm. No.” Kurt said as Sebastian felt him loosen an arm where he noticed Kurt’s phone was clutched, shaking it a little on his hand to make Sebastian look down on it.

To: kurthummel@jacquemus.fr

From: sebastiansmythe@bellevilleroasters.co 

Subject: It’s a slow damn day at work and Danielle is annoying me with pottery talks;

So I wrote you poetry

Violets are blue; roses are thorny, when you look at me boy ― I get so really horny.

“Oh.” Sebastian could feel the back of his neck reddening immediately.

“Yes.” Kurt chuckled. “And there’s plenty. I just got to reading it now because for some reason they were stored on spam. See what I meant that you write so much better. My favorite so far is ‘Violets are blue; roses are red, good morning sweetheart ― give me some head- hey!”

-

Blaine.

There’s a bit of a nine hour time difference but of course they make it work. Since reconciling and meeting again Sebastian had to endure biweekly Facetime dates that could run for hours especially now that Kurt is practically planning Blaine’s wedding for him from overseas. It was an afternoon marked by high pitched squealing as Kurt said yes to Blaine’s timid and complicated question of ‘would you do me the honor of making sure my wedding will have the Kurt Hummel seal of approval stamp on it?’. Sebastian was sure there was a slight ringing in his ears all night until he drove home by midnight.

“Is Blaine paying you for your expertise?” he joked one night when Kurt got home late with large stacks of FedEx envelopes full of portfolio for venues and suits sketches and freaking _table napkin sample swatches_ balanced on one arm. “Do you need more work seeing as you’re losing hair over your own work already?”

“Don’t joke about my hair we talked about that already.” Kurt warned, pinching him tenderly on a cheek as he passed him by the kitchen counter. “This is a great stress reliever you know. It’s an escape for me.”

“Oh wow. Thanks a bunch.” Sebastian would roll his eyes as Quinn chuckles from the sofa, making grabby hands for some of the portfolio.

“You should know Kurt planned two weddings already. His father’s and Finn’s.”

“Yes and it went flawlessly if I may say so myself.” Kurt preened.

So Sebastian just let them gush and chat while he work from the kitchen counter, occasionally indulging Kurt’s questions on what does he think about this or that and such while he works on some paperwork for the café. Getting so engrossed on a certain number that he jumped slightly when a hand ― Kurt’s hand covered the paper he was reading to perusal. Sebastian looked up to Kurt standing on the kitchen, smiling softly at him.

“Tea?”

“Sure. Thank you.” Sebastian watched as Kurt did his thing and dunking two teabags in the pot of boiling water. “When did you start making tea that way?”

“When Dame Maggie Smith reprimanded that secretary who should know better.” Kurt winked, referencing Sebastian’s favorite movie.

“I’m serious.” Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Well ― I made tea for Adam that one time and he was horrified with my method – rightfully so and he―”

“Uh-huh.” Sebastian caught the little smile on Kurt’s face and rounded the counter to stand behind Kurt and wrap both his arms around the shorter man’s waist tightly. “Pretentious little Brit.”

“Dame Maggie Smith?” Kurt mock gasped. “How dare you?”

“Shut up.” Sebastian chuckled.

“So that’s it he basically told me what Maggie did in that movie about waking up the teabag in boiling water.”

“Why are we talking about your ex?”

“You asked me about the tea!”

“You could not have done me the favor of sparing my feelings and making up a story about reading the history of tea making or whatever?”

“You’re unbelievable and you’d demand a PowerPoint presentation of that book.” Kurt rolled his eyes with a chuckle as he pours hot tea on big mugs.

“You know me so well.”

“I missed you. I feel like I haven’t talked to you at all this week.” Kurt said as he turned around Sebastian’s embrace and looped his arms on the taller man’s neck.

“I feel like I haven’t talk to you at all this week, too.” Sebastian agreed with a nod. Though they had slept side by side the past five days surviving on soft kisses of goodnights and good morning have a good day with sprinkles of sporadic text messaging in between free times; they haven’t really talked that much and talking so openly to each other, as admitted on more than one occasion, is one of the best things about their relationship. “It’s been crazy with the opening of the new branch looming in two short weeks and Danielle training her replacement―”

“What do you mean replacement?” Kurt exclaimed. “Danielle’s quitting?!”

“No. Not like that. She’ll never quit. I won’t let her.”

“Good.” Kurt sighed in relief. “She makes the best café crème and she actually loves me. Max still scares me a little.”

“She makes the best coffee?! I thought that was me.”

“You make the best coffee she just makes le best café crème.” Kurt smirked. “Now go finish your homework and your tea and I’ll wait up for you and we’ll cuddle and talk some more.”

“Just cuddling?” Sebastian grumbled.

“Finish in an hour and we’ll see.” Kurt winked as he sashays away to his room, swinging his hips suggestively and Sebastian could only stare because it’s his boyfriend’s ass.

-

“Lights are closed already? I used the spare bathroom to freshen up just for this you know.” Sebastian smirked, sauntering on the bed with a towel around his waist to Kurt buried on that Eiderdown duvet he stole from Sebastian’s linen closet. “Kurt? Are you asle―” he started removing the towel from his waist before noticing Kurt’s phone leaning on the picture window with Blaine’s serene smiling face on the screen. “What the fuck?”

“Please tell me you’re Sebastian and not some other pervert about to rape my friend.”

“What the actual fuck?!” Sebastian whispered furiously, before reaching for the phone with Blaine smiling amusedly on the other end as Sebastian carried the phone to Kurt’s closet, opening the lights inside and closing the double doors behind him. “What the fuck, Blaine?! What were you doing watching Kurt sleep?” he mumbled as loudly as he can as Sebastian place the phone on the center island that houses Kurt’s accessories and began rummaging through the cabbie containing Kurt’s pajamas.

“First, I wasn’t. I went to go get something and when I returned Kurt was already asleep. Secondly, oh wow, is this Kurt’s closet? He really did embraced street style huh? That’s a lot of that standing mouse looking statue things. Can you give me a tour? I think they did an exhibit on the LACMA one time with those mouse statue things”

“Those mouse statue things are called Companion and they’re priceless.” Sebastian muttered annoyed; using Kurt’s words to him on Blaine. “What are you even calling Kurt for at twelve in the morning?”

“Well it’s three in the afternoon over here and I’m getting ready for my last class and Kurt asked me something about the venue and I decided to call him.” Blaine smiled at the screen as Sebastian picked the phone up now appropriately dressed with his boner killed. “Now I got to ask does Kurt have those red gun things that spew out money?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, leaving out the fact that, yes, Kurt has one of those and only Sebastian gets to tease Kurt about it. “Why do you care?”

“That’s an answer enough.” Blaine chuckled, shaking his head.

“Screw you. You don’t get to mock Kurt while you’re tying the world’s most hideous bowtie on right now. Honestly who pairs a black shiny bowtie with a white shirt on an ordinary day? Crews on a wedding, Blaine I tell you. Is that a leather bow tie? Damn and it could not be tacky enough. At least Kurt’s style developed with age while you’re still stuck on your bashful high school days. It’s not Kurt’s fault that he invests and he likes limited edition pieces and can afford it so why do fuck does it have to matter to you?” Sebastian was breathing hard by the end of his rant, watching Blaine looking at him with wide eyes through the screen.

“Are you done?” Blaine mumbled cautiously and Sebastian could just nod furiously. “I’m not mocking him okay? It’s just so different from the Kurt I knew―”

“Because that’s what humans normally do, you know? They grow.”

“Could you just let me finish? Sebastian, please?”

“Whatever.”

“It’s just so different from the Kurt I knew and it’s just fun to know these new things about my best friend okay?” Blaine paused. “And you could drop it with being jealous about me because hello I’m so in love and getting happily married at that.”

“Didn’t stop you from cheating before.”

“It was wrong, sure. I broke Kurt’s heart, yes. But it did work out in the end for everyone right? Did you know Kurt thanked me for cheating on him?” Sebastian shook his head, startled quiet. “He did and he loves his life so much and he loves you even more that I cheating on him was somehow worth it and justified in his mind.” Blaine smiled a little wistfully. “So please cut it with being jealous about me and Kurt okay? I can’t lose my best friend again because of his ridiculous jealous of a boyfriend.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “And does Sugar know you’re throwing the word best friend around to describe Kurt? And she’s letting you?”

Blaine looked behind frantically, as if calling Sugar’s name would somehow manifest the girl in reality. “See? This is why I need my groomsman. The best woman is not helping at all. You and I both know Sugar will choose the more expensive option every time no matter how tacky and ostentatious it looks. I need your boyfriend’s taste and rationality.”

“Just don’t get the wrong idea.” Sebastian warned. “And don’t stress him out. You’re making me miss precious time I could use to have sex with him.”

“Ugh! TMI, Smythe.”

“TMI? And you revealing that you remember Kurt likes to savor is not TMI?”

“Well, I―” Blaine flustered. “I was really drunk on wine okay? It was Santana who asked the stupid question you should blame her.”

“Whatever. You’re a douche and I’ll leave you to tying that god awful tie. I need to sleep. Some of us have a real job in the morning you know.”

“I’m in the faculty room getting ready to teach a college music class, Sebastian. How real do you want it to be?” Blaine answered with a glare. “Oh and my bowtie? I was just trying it on and Kurt made it douche, and he’s behind you so good luck!”

Sebastian turned so fast even before a laughing Blaine could drop the FaceTime call.

**Author's Note:**

> A belated very merry everything and a happy always to everyone! xoxo


End file.
